Teenage Dating

part 1.

How to Keep Your Teens Safe

By Julian Cowie.

There are three things you can give your teenagers. They don't cost any money.

• Your Love
• Your time
• Some Boundaries

Theses three things are of equal importance, get them right and you will have a lot smoother ride when your children become teenagers and start dating.

Loving your children goes without saying. They need to know you love them no matter what. That doesn't mean you will approve of everything that they do, or that they can do whatever they like and not have to take responsibility for their actions.

There has been a trend for some time, since the sixties, for parents to be more of a friend to their teenagers. Nothing wrong with that as such but there are times when your teen needs you to be the adult to be the parent. We can presume that the parent has more life experience and your teen will need the benefit and guidance of that experience.

Life is so much more complicated these days. Many of us didn't have to deal with drugs, for example when we were growing up. Life was a little more simple back then, smoking behind the bike sheds and stealing a bottle of beer from your dad were pretty tame compared with what today's teens might encounter.

Teenagers need you to be there. They need your time. You might not think so, you might think that they prefer to be left alone. Here you need to strike a balance between being there for them as opposed to being in their face as it were. In many families both parents work full time, in that case you just have to make time the best you can. At weekends, after work, whenever you can.

There is no substitute for spending time with your children or teenagers. There is nothing better you can do for them, not buy them the latest phone, car, nike trainers, nothing is as valuable as your time, it is priceless.

If you are working round the clock, maybe you should ask yourself why, what are you working for, what are you spending all your time doing that is more important than your children?.

There are things you can do as well to help your teens through what is a difficult stage of their lives. Make your home a place where they can bring their friends of both sexes. Set some rules about what they can and can't do, what is acceptable behaviour and what is not and stick to them!

Make their friends welcome, some you will like and some you won't, try not to judge them. Many teens have troubled lives, their parents could have their own problems, alcohol and drug addiction maybe or something similar, their children get caught up in it all. So try to be aware not all parents will be a caring as you might be.

Having your teens and their friends hang out at your house means you can keep up with what is happening in their world. You can be involved, but not too involved.

Hang back a little and loosen the apron strings gradually! Your teenagers need a certain amount of freedom but you will still be there for them should they need you, balance is the key here.

Going out as a group is great for your teens. They can interact with the opposite sex in a natural way. Try to get them involved in sport or what ever group activities suit them. Look to see if your teenager or any of their friends have any special talents and try and give them some encouragement. I'm sure that there are some professional skateboarders out there whose parents though they were wasting all their time when they were younger. Better skateboarding or surfing than drugs!

Sooner or latter your teenager is going to want to go out one on one dating. When that time comes hopefully your teen will have developed.

• High self-esteem

• Be relaxed around the opposite sex

• Have respect for members of the opposite sex

Why? Because you have set the Boundaries and have provided the environment for this to happen. They may think it's a bit of a drag now, but they will thank you for it later on.

Part two covers what to do before an actual date.